That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
