She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
