did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
