another moral hangover. fuck.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
