Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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