Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
