I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
