There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize