I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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