When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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