last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
