i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
