absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize