That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
