you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
