I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
