Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
