we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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