I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
