It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
