shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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