His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
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