That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
