got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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