don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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