Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
