Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
