I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize