he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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