I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
