I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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