On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
