We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
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