For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
