so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
