WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
