I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
