i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
