So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
