she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
