Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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