well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
