I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
