Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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