he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
