Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
My cat gives me a boner
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
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