i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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