my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Soap is not a condiment
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
