the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize