Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
