i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
