Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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