Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
