im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I think my moral compass just broke
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
