Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
