4 words: hood of his car
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize