Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Jerry, you need to find god
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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