I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
