possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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