He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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